A tired adhd woman leans her head on a desk with a laptop, symbolizing workplace fatigue and burnout.
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Good Stress, Bad Stress: How to Find Your Sweet Spot

ByNutritionist.Michael

Why Stress Isn’t Always Bad

Most people hear the word stress and immediately think: bad news. High blood pressure, insomnia, anxiety, burnout…

But that’s only part of the story.

Stress is a normal physiological response that helps you adapt, survive, and grow. The problem isn’t that we have stress; it’s that most of us don’t know how to manage the amount we carry or how to recover from it.

The right kind of stress can sharpen your mind, strengthen your body, and even help you perform better. That’s called eustress, or “good stress.” LIke training or working toward a degree. But too much, too often, and for too long, and eventually it turns into distress. The kind that leaves you drained, distracted, and burnt out.

The key is finding your sweet spot; the zone where challenge meets recovery, and you come out stronger rather than exhausted. Its about finding peace amid the storm. This often involves changing how we perceive the storm.

The Science of Stress (and Why It Exists)

When you face something your brain perceives as a threat, like an argument, a tight deadline, or even an intense workout, your body triggers a fight-flight-or-freeze response.

Your adrenal glands subsequently release adrenaline and cortisol, increasing heart rate and blood flow so you can respond quickly. This reaction helped our ancestors survive physical danger, but modern life doesn’t come with as many lions to fight off. Instead, we get stuck in chronic stress mode, triggered by emails, traffic, finances, and an endless to-do list.

When this system stays activated for too long, stress becomes problematic as a consequence. It can increase inflammation, disrupt sleep, and impair hormone function. Scientists call this cumulative stress burden your allostatic load; the total “wear and tear” from all the negative OR positive pressures you face daily (Juster et al., 2010).

In small doses, stress keeps you sharp. But when that load gets too heavy, it squishes your ability to recover and function.

Good Stress vs. Bad Stress

Think of stress on a spectrum. At one end, there’s not enough stress; you feel bored, stagnant, and unmotivated. At the other end, there’s too much stress and you’re overwhelmed, anxious, and burnt out.

The sweet spot lies somewhere in between.

Good stress (called eustress):

  • Short-term, occasional, and purposeful
  • Inspires focus, growth, and action
  • Feels challenging but it’s manageable
  • Helps build resilience

Examples: a tough workout, public speaking, learning a new skill, or tackling a project with a clear finish line. Or how about getting through an RSD episode. (More about RSD in a later post).

Bad stress (distress):

  • Chronic and inescapable
  • Drains energy, motivation, and mood
  • Feels paralyzing or hopeless
  • Damages health and relationships

The difference between good and bad stress isn’t the event itself; it’s your capacity to recover from it, or bounce back.

ADHD and Stress: Why It Hits Harder (and How to Cope)

For people like us, ADHD stress isn’t just a background buzz; it’s often a full-volume experience, often happening internally.

That’s because our ADHD brain processes stimulation differently. It’s wired for novelty and challenge yet can easily become overwhelmed by too much input or too many competing priorities. This is all too familiar and frustrating.

When stress levels rise, executive functions like planning, time management, and organization, the very tools needed to handle stress, short-circuit. This creates a feedback loop: stress makes ADHD symptoms worse, and ADHD symptoms make stress harder to manage.

But awareness changes the game. When you know what your common triggers are, you can build systems that prevent overwhelm before it snowballs. Then put those thoughts, skills, and actions on repeat. When you

Common Stressors for ADHDers and Some Tools to Try Out

1. Overwhelming Tasks

Big, multi-step projects can feel impossible to even start. Even simple errands (borrring!) pile up until they seem unmanageable.

Try this: Break tasks into micro-steps and commit to them. Instead of “clean the kitchen,” start with “clear one counter.” Make if fun with music? Each completion releases a little dopamine ~ your brain’s reward signal ~ which keeps you moving forward. Attach a small celebration or simple reward to the task completion, and whamo! Keeping your commitments builds confidence!

2. Time Management

Deadlines sneak up. Appointments get missed or forgotten. ADHD brains often experience “time blindness,” where the future feels abstract and distant.

Try this: Use visual timers, digital reminders, and consistent routines. Externalizing time takes pressure off your working memory.

3. Social Interactions

Reading cues, staying attentive in conversations, and managing emotional intensity will feel draining. We are scanners. We are hyper-aware and hyper-tuned, its a gift and a curse.

Try this: Focus on one small, meaningful connection. A quick text to a friend or five minutes of genuine conversation. Small doses build social confidence without burnout.

4. Sensory Overload

Noisy offices, harsh lights, or crowded environments can trigger physical stress responses.

Try this: Create sensory “escape plans.” Noise-canceling headphones, dim lighting, or a short walk outside can restore calm fast.

5. Impulsivity Control

Acting before thinking. Whether it’s snapping at someone or making a spontaneous purchase, it can lead to guilt and extra stress later. It can make us feel bad about ourselves too. There is power in the pause. This can also be a time to acknowledge your feelings they are valid no matter how “petty” you think they are. You can revisit the situation later if it lingers.

Try this: Practice short pauses. Even three slow counted breaths before responding (or not responding) can interrupt impulsive loops.

6. Organizational Challenges

Clutter and misplaced items drain mental energy. ADHD organization thrives on visibility, not storage.

Try this: Simplify your systems. Keep tools where you use them (scissors by the mail, gym bag by the door). Put multiple phone chargers throughout the house and in the car. Do the same with water bottles if you need help remembering to drink.

7. Procrastination

That dread before starting a task? It’s real and rooted in the ADHD brain’s difficulty shifting from rest to action.

Try this: Start for five minutes. Once you begin, momentum builds. Pair tasks with music or movement for an extra dopamine boost. Start with easier or fun tasks to build momentum, rather than trying to tackle the BIG stuff first. Walk through the fear, you’ll surprise yourself.

Why ADHD Stress Feels Different

ADHD-related stress is more physiological than psychological. The nervous system is often running on high alert, bouncing between hyper-focus and fatigue.

That’s why traditional “stress management” advice like “just relax” or “get more organized” rarely works. After all, ADHD brains need stimulation and structure, not stillness and shame. And we carry lots of shame.

The fix: Find your regulation rhythm.

Alternate focused bursts of effort with intentional recovery. I call intentional recovery transition time. Schedule transition time into your calendar. For example:

  • 25 minutes of deep work → 5 minutes of stretching or fresh air
  • One challenging conversation → 10 minutes of reset
  • A busy morning → a slower, tech-free lunch

Or after a meeting or lunch, you’ll want time to transition back into a project. These small intentional transitions keep your stress in the “good stress” zone and prepare you for the next thing. They will help keep you out of the burnout zone.

Understanding Your Recovery Zone

Everyone’s stress tolerance is unique, shaped by genetics, personality, environment, life experience, and brain differences.

If you’re already juggling multiple responsibilities like work deadlines, parenting, or caring for others, your recovery zone might be smaller than you realize.

Some people adapt well to high-pressure situations, while others feel drained by even small stressors. (like grocery shopping…)

What makes the difference?

✅ Your mindset. People who see challenges as opportunities, not threats, tend to recover faster.
✅ Your environment. Natural light, outdoor time, and secure surroundings all calm the nervous system.
✅ Your lifestyle habits. Sleep, nutrition, and regular movement directly affect your ability to handle stress.
✅ Your support system. Strong relationships buffer stress and promote emotional recovery.

If your “stress bucket” is already overflowing, even minor inconveniences can push you to the edge. That’s your cue to lighten the load, not to “tough it out.”

How to Manage Your Allostatic Load

Reducing stress isn’t about eliminating all pressure; it’s about managing total load and improving recovery capacity. Here’s how to do that.

1. Move Your Body Intelligently

Exercise is a form of good stress. It builds resilience, lowers cortisol, and improves sleep. But there’s a tipping point: when your workouts are too intense or too frequent, they can add to your stress bucket.

Balance high-intensity training with restorative movement like walking, stretching, yoga, swimming, or cycling at a conversational pace. Think “movement that gives more than it takes.”

2. Practice Purposeful Relaxation

True relaxation isn’t scrolling on your phone or zoning out in front of Netflix.
You need parasympathetic activation, known as the “rest and digest” mode.

Try:

  • Deep belly breathing (4-7-8 technique)
  • Gentle mobility or yoga
  • Spending time outdoors
  • Listening to calming music
  • A short daily mindfulness or meditation session

Even a few minutes of slow, deep breathing can lower blood pressure and reset your nervous system (Chrousos, 2009).

3. Reframe How You See Stress

Mindset changes physiology. Viewing or perceiving stress as a challenge instead of a threat reduces cortisol spikes and improves performance. And with practice, it helps us become the person we want to be.

This isn’t about toxic positivity; it’s about seeing stress as information and not identity. Neutral versus Negative.

Ask yourself:

  • “Is this stress helping me grow?”
  • “What’s within my control right now?”
  • “How can I adjust my expectations to match this demand?”

4. Eat for Resilience

Your diet can either support or sabotage your stress response.
Prioritize:

  • Planning and Prioritizing simple to prepare snacks or meals to eat throughout the day.
  • Omega-3-rich foods (fatty low-toxin fish like salmon/sardines/herring, chia seeds, walnuts) to reduce inflammation
  • Complex carbs for steady energy (think quinoa, brown basmati, starchy carbs like corn or potatoes with skin)
  • Adequate protein to support neurotransmitter balance. (think plant and animal proteins)
  • Hydration. Dehydration can heighten perceived stress

And maybe skip the third espresso. Too much caffeine can make your nervous system feel “stuck on high alert.” Although it works for some ADHDers. Its never quite a one-size-fits-all with most things.

5. Connect with People

Low-stress social connections are one of the strongest buffers against chronic stress.
Whether it’s a trusted friend, partner, or even your dog, supportive interactions trigger oxytocin, an “anti-stress” hormone.

What Happens When You Recover Well

When you stay in your optimal stress zone, you’re:
✅ More creative and focused
✅ Better able to make decisions under pressure
✅ More physically resilient
✅ Less likely to experience burnout

You don’t need a stress-free life; you need a recoverable one.

Your Action Plan: Finding Your Sweet Spot

  1. Audit your stress bucket. Write down everything that adds to your load: work, finances, relationships, and even your workouts.
  2. Adjust what you can control or what you have influence over. Simplify commitments, delegate tasks, and set clearer boundaries.
  3. Build daily recovery habits. Meditation, walking, stretching, time in nature, or simply unplugging from screens.
  4. Track your signals. If you’re tired, irritable, or skipping meals, it’s a clue you’re outside your recovery zone.
  5. Reassess often. Your stress capacity changes over time, especially through big life transitions.
  6. Schedule Transition times into your calendar. 5-15 minutes usually works. These small intentional transitions keep your stress in the “good stress” zone and prepare you for the next thing. They will help keep you out of the burnout zone.

MikeColangelo’sTake

Not all stress is bad. the right amount can help you grow stronger, smarter, and more adaptable. Your goal isn’t to eliminate stress, but to find your sweet spot ~ where effort meets recovery and challenge builds confidence instead of chaos.

References

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